She walks in a dark street. Her high-heeled shoes give her a sexy walk. Her legs wind her skirt. She is about to pass in front of me. That street lamp is off, I just broke it. The sound of her walk is nearer now. I am crouched down at the backside of a garbage can. I jump on her like a cat on the mouse. I am excited already. She struggles. I like that. I shred her clothes it makes her cry. I remove her bra and she screams. Her breast is soft and hard. I pass my hand below her skirt and I snatch her panties. She is still bawling. The more she yells the more I am excited. I ride up her skirt and as she struggles and before she clinches her legs I lay on her between her thighs. She has understood, but it is to late, my sex in front of her slit….
I wake up sweating. This hurts. I must found a way to calm down. I’m trying to get hard but I cannot. The device prevents that. I try to get up. My strait jacket makes it difficult, but I am used to now. I do not know how long it is since I am there. My room is small. The walls are white and padded. I am wearing a strait jacket and a chastity belt. At first I tried to kill myself, or I dreamed I did. I do not know any more what has been true and what is dream. I do no know if it is day or night. Or perhaps I dreamed about nights and days. A string at my ankles prevents me from spreading my legs so I cannot run. I have no idea of when I arrived here. Perhaps I never had been out of it.
When I dream, it is often about them. I think I raped them. I think it felt good. Now the only sexual feeling I have is that device that hurts when I am hard. Even my food has no taste. I remember tasteful food, but perhaps it never existed, perhaps I dreamed about that. They said I am mad. I do not know. The only thing I can think about is raping. I remember having sex with a girl-friend. It was tasteless. Raping a girl is tasteful. The more she struggles the better it is. But as I think about that I get excited, I get hard, I get hurt.
Did I still have a penis. It is so long since I saw it for the last time. Or perhaps I dreamed that also? I might have one because I felt it when it hurts.
The first girl I raped was my girl friend. She said she was leaving me because I was so violent. Did it really happen? I think it does. She was wearing a short skirt. I was behind her and I grabbed her by the hips. She said no, She was tight. I pulled on her hips hard and my penis entered her cunt. She struggled and it felt good, I cumed quickly. She left she was in tears. I think she had been hurt. But my god it was so good for me. I though she could have called the police. So I ran to her and tried to apologize, but she did not want to hear me. As I saw her crying I was excited again. I pushed her in the fire cupboard. I grabbed her knee and raped her again. As I was in her I put my hand on her neck and I pressed. I pressed so she couldn’t speak. She would never speak again. I dumped her body in the river. I think I did. Perhaps I only dreamed I did it.
Now my life in white. No colours. No tastes. No pleasure. Nothing. Just sexual frustration.
The second was just a black hooker. It was near the harbour. She was alone. I tried to grab her by the hips as I did for my first time, but she did not let me do it. So I had to make her fell and lay on her. She struggled also and her head hit the border of the pavement before I finished. She was dead. I dropped her body in the harbour water, but I was sad she died too soon.
I know I hurt them. The judge, I think it was a judge, perhaps it was a doctor I do not remember. Perhaps I dreamt it. He asked if I realized I hurt them. Of course I did. I am not stupid. My pleasure comes form their pain. There is nothing I can do about that.
There was also that young girl. She was coming back home after school I think. She had red hair. I proposed to drop her at home as it was raining. Of course I never had any intention to drive her home. She never gave her address. When we were in the woods she said, she never did it in nature and that it excited her. As I was surprised she asked if I wanted to have sex with her. I answered that I preferred to rape and kill her. She thought I was joking. Once she was frightened it was better. I tried not to kill her. I just tied her so I would be able to use her once again the next day but I must have been false with the knot, she was dead by the next morning.
I like the nurse here. I wish I could rape her. I wish I could see tears on her face but each time I think about her it hurts. My god it hurts so much.
Each time I think about sex it hurts and I have nothing else to think about.
It is the sound of the door that I hear. She is here in front of me in her short white jacket. I look at her legs at her breast. She seems to laugh.
-Your solitary confinement year is finished. I’ll lead you to your new cell. Then you’ll discover the following of your punishment.
It the first time I hear speaking. I had almost forgotten. I don’t what to reply. Can I ask her to rape her?
I am to sit on a gynaecologic chair. I look at her.
-I will remove the chastity belt, she said smiling.
I sat and she straps me onto the chair.
I look as she remove the device. I do not remember when it has been locked. She has a key.
She removes a shield. Then a stainless steel part that run from back to front between the leg. A tube is attached to it. My sex is the tube. She shows me the spikes at the end of the tube.
I felt my sex growing. I felt pin and needles as it is a long time since it grew like that.
-If it hurts I can use a gel to numb it.
I am happy to be able to see and feel my sex, but As it hurts I ask her to apply the gel. Speaking is not easy after so much time. I am highly excited. But the feeling is terrible. It is like my cock was disappearing. I still could see it but I cannot feel it. I saw it hard as the nurse finger goes up and down on it. In fact it is awfully frustrating.
Before I cum she comes with a syringe inject something. “It will help you for when the gel effect will be gone”.
I am still in the strait jacket and she lead me to a new cell. It is more conventional. I am bottomless and I saw my dick but am unable to touch it. Even without feeling I would like to touch it, to feel it hard and hot in my hands.
As the time goes on my erection drops and the feeling is back. It is not hurting. I try to masturbate but in a strait jacket it is impossible. The frustration goes on.
Once again I dream about the girls I raped. It is not hurting any more. I cannot get erected anymore. I have to wait for the morning.
As the nurse came back, I explain her
-It is normal, by noon you’ll get the ability of getting erected again, do not worry.
I still have to wait! The frustration goes on.
An hour later, some people come with the nurse. The strait jacket is removed. Moving my arm is painful, it is so long I did not move them. I do not dare touching my penis. There is too much people there.
They are carrying a beam, what is that for? I am afraid they would crush my balls with it, but there are easier tools for that.
They put the beam on my shoulders, it is heavy. They tie my arms to it. Is that a kind of pillory? I just want a few minutes alone to touch myself…. In fact a few hours as my dick need four or five hours to spring to life again.
They drove me in the prison corridors, where are we going?
I cannot see anything. The sun is hot and bright. They are driving me outside the prison, but where and why. They do not answer my question. The beam is so heavy. I am forced to walk and my eyes are getting used to the high light. I am about to leave the prison, but naked and with that heavy beam on my shoulders. I stop. I refuse to walk on, by the pain in my back make me move on. I have no choice. I have to walk. There is lot of people outside. I am afraid they will lynch me, but they let me walk bare foot on the road. I’m anxious at what will happen next.
It is long since I made exercises, so I am quickly exhausted, but each I slow down The guard pick a spear in by back or butts and I continue to walk through the town. They all look at me and laugh at me.
Finally we’re out of the town. On a hill next to the motor way I was another beam strait. I am afraid I had understood what is next.
Now I am near that place. I am knocked below the knee and I fall down.
I’m turned on my back. I am out of a cell than smoothes every sensation, and I’m now there humiliated in front of these people, exhausted with my legs that hurt….
A nail!, They nailed my wrist! The pain is so intense… They are holding me so I cannot move to look at my wrist closer. Each hammer hit is a jolt of pain. Then it is finished… I try to calm down, when another pain came from the other wrist. The reflex makes me move and the pain is in both arms.
It is just finished that they ask me to stand up. I’m shaking, I cannot move. They take the beam, each movement is painful at the place of the nail. But there is nothing I can do, they are rising the beam. They pass over my shoulder. They are still rising; I have to pull on my feet. I realize I am helping them to crucify me! But there is nothing I can do against that. The pain is too much if I try to resist. A stool is put in front of me and I step on it and the beam is affixed.
I feel ridiculous. Two guards get my legs and spread them at once. I am hanging from my wrists and the pain makes me yell. As soon as I calm down They hammer the nail through my ankles. I yell again.
When I come to me again I am nailed on that cross. I am pushed forward and my knees are bent. Slowly breathing becomes difficult. I cannot understand but I have to push on my leg, I have to try to stand. The pain in my ankles and wrist is unbelievable but I have to do it.
Then I stand. I can breathe. There less pain in my wrists, but the pain in my ankles in unbearable. I have to get down. My butt rests in contact with the wood, and slowly I get down. Then I am sitting. That thing that was pushing me forward is below my ass. But it is so little that I have no choice to let it make its way between my butts. When I feel it on my anus I push again to stand.
-You do not want it! Think about the girls that did not what your cock… little by little you won’t be able to fight it and you will be fuck in the ass! The guard laughs !
I am not alone. I bearly forget they are still there looking at me. I am naked and they look at me. I am displayed and the look at me. I am suffering and they look at me. I am impaling myself and they look at me with pleasure.
I cannot stand forever, and I get down. That time I push when I feel my anus opening due to the sit pressure. But each time my anus resistance is lower. I am opening to that thing. Little my little I rest longer on it. It goes farther and farther.
Then I felt some pleasure. I get pleasure from being fucked. Did the girls felt pleasure? My cock is growing. Every eyes are on me as I am getting hard. I tried to get hard when I was alone, and this is now that I am exposed and fucked in the ass that I am getting hard.
Every body laughs. I am aroused at being impaled, but it is so slow, I get no real pleasure and the pain in my legs and arms is so important. I am humiliated, but what I can do. I want to die, but when I am going to there nothing I can do I have to stand to get fresh air and make the sit move in my ass. Then I am exhausted and I fell. I fell on that thing that rapes me in public. And feel some pleasure from being raped like that.
I see the sun is low. I am cold.
They come to me. One another pain. I yells again, but no sound comes from my mouth.
My legs, they hurt. I try to breath, but they broke my legs. I am impaling on the sit I no longer can stand. Breathing is more difficult. My lungs are burning. I am dying. But I am dying slow speed. I see the people moving, and I take my time to choke. The pleasure is building up and I realize sperm is flowing from my cock. I am no longer able to breathe. It is finished.